ASSYMETRIC: Boat with medieval jousting pole designed to frighten windsurfers.
BOW: Excessive reverence shown to the Commodore.
BILGE: Cheap beer
BLUE PETER: …so would yours be after one of the Frostbite Series
BLOCK: What you get when you forget the course mid-race.
BOSUN: When you have just won a bottle of wine and you drop a hint to your friends by leaving it on full view on the table in the lounge.
BUNG: you must have one of these in your boat to enter a race; you should give the duty-coordinator one to find you a duty that's not Tea Bar.
CAPSIZE: The number you need to remember when your fifth hat of the season sinks without trace.
CATAMARAN: Seldom on the water despite dinghy park being full of them, sails like a train, moves very fast, occasionally crashes and can't be steered.
CLASS The English have a complicated and very important class and sub class system. The 3 main classes are the upper class (HSC member) wot own sailing boats, the middle class who don't own boats and the w***** at the bottom who own a jet ski.
COURSE: The direction in which a skipper wishes to steer his boat and from which the wind is blowing. Also, the language that results by not being able to.
COLD FRONT: The greeting you’ll get on returning home after 6pm on a Sunday.
CLEW: First hint that the crew’s forgotten the course again.
DISPLACEMENT: When you beach your boat and can't find it later.
DUTY OFFICER: (AKA) 'Officer Of The Day', everybody needs one, no one wants to be one and everybody says they could do it better!
FOC’SLE: Expletive uttered when you’re fed up with sailing and want to take up golf instead.
KICKER: Useful trick when crew won’t do what she’s told.
ROLLOCKS: Expletive uttered when you’ve driven all the way to the club but forgotten that vital piece of equipment that prevents you going sailing.
SAILING: The fine art of getting wet and frozen, while going nowhere slowly at great expense.
SHEET: Expletive uttered when a jib knot comes undone in a crisis.
SPREADERS: Barclay Card and Visa - useful for extending the sailing season.
SPINNAKER: Colourful material that automatically ties itself in a knot and hoists the crew up the mast by the leg. Also, useful for doing an emergency stop in a dinghy.
START SEQUENCE: A collection of loud noises and brightly coloured flags that go up and down in what appears to be a random sequence depending on the senility of the Race Officer.
COURSE BOARD: Randomly chosen coloured tiles (see above)
STERN: The look Annie Mackay will give you if you walk on the carpet with muddy feet.
SWIMMING AREA: The part of the race course, usually near the gybe mark, where all the fleet capsize.
TRAPEZE HARNESS: A chastity belt for men.
TENDER: Patching up the relationship after a pretty traumatic race.